Valentine's Day - Sorted.

Like it or lump it, the most loved up, couple canoodling, vomit-inducing holiday is upon us.  Whether you’re smuggly smitten or sick of the schmaltz, here are some things to get everyone through the big V-day.

 
For the lovebirds among us, The FlowerAppreciation society has all our last minute floral fiascos sorted with their pop-up shop at Boxpark selling exotic bouquets.  For the evening, the BFI is hosting a selection of romantic film screenings including A Place in the Sun, perfect for pashing in the back row.  For the more adventurous lovers, Corset & Diamonds’ Memoirs of a GAYsha, is a bizarre night of old and new Japan; expect Harajuku dancing with a burlesque twist along with peep shows, Japanese bondage and ‘love games’, washed down with Sake-it-to-me cocktails and sushi.

For singles in the mood for lovin’, check out some of London's matchmaking events.  Slagbox is a single’s night with a twist; bring a friend of the opposite sex, take a number and the let the magic happen, while For The Love of Mic, gives you the chance to fall crazy in love with your very own Jay-Z or Beyonce.  For something different, check out the launch of the Anonymous Sex Journal, a collection of sex tales spanning from the touching to the utterly awkward, or to see if there really is a point in looking for love, head to The School of Life’s ‘How Necessary is a Relationship’ class.

For a Valentine’s Day where anything goes, head to a pie shop in Shoreditch and indulge in Fat Cheek Love Bites’ 4 course ‘of the sea’ supper club on 15th February.  Alternatively, don your glad rags and head to the Museum of London’s Valentine’s Day Late or the Vintage Dance Club Tea Dance at Canary Wharf for a night of 1920s charm, full of music, dancing and downright debauchery.  If that doesn’t do it for you, why not recreate a bona fide romantic American experience at The Book Club’s Teen Dreams Prom, where British revellers will pay homage to the great American romantic clichés before ripping them apart with icebreakers such as ‘this one time at band camp’.

And last but not least, for those of us who simply refuse to recognise, celebrate or acknowledge the Cupid's arrows adorning every window, there’s always a take away and a bottle of vodka.

Long to Reign Over Us!

What better excuse is there for a seriously long weekend, lots of pimms drinking and a good old British party, than Queen Liz’s 60^th anniversary on the throne?!  In short, there isn’t one, which is why I thought I would share all of London’s best weekend Jubilee jubilations with you!

First things first, although a glorified, jewel encrusted hat may seem a little over-the-top for a street party or picnic, its not.  Jubilee celebrations are the only time when you can acceptably wear a tiara, so until 15^th June, The Tiara Shop at Selfridges is your one stop pop-up shop for bling headgear, with tiaras ranging from royal budgets of £50,000 right down to a good old fiver.

From Thursday 31^st May

Although not technically starting at the weekend, why not get the party started early?!  Selfridges are hosting a truly British afternoon of tea and crazy golf on their roof terrace.  Truly spiffing!

Saturday 2^nd June

Not strictly a Royal celebration, BUT the Queen is attending this year’s Epsom Derby!  So get down there to catch a glimpse of the lady of the hour, place some bets, watch some races and soak up the atmosphere.

Saturday June 2^nd and Sunday June 3^rd

For the kids among us (including me!) there is the Sainsbury’s Jubilee Family Festival invading Hyde Park.  With everything from The Magic of Disney and Warhorse to the Commonwealth stage filled with African Gospel Music and Maori dancers, there’s something for all tastes.

Sunday June 3^rd

This is the big one – The Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant.  Over 1,000 boats are set to make their way down the River Thames from Battersea Bridge to the West India Docks.  It is one the largest flotillas ever to have breached Thames waters and is sure to bring it to life in a way we have never seen it before.  Check out this map for the best spectator spots.

The Book Club has Royal festivities mastered after their Royal Wedding party.  To carry on their outstanding reputation, they’re whipping out the bunting again for a Diamond Jubilee edition of feasting, drinking and general merriment.

Monday 4^th June

The Big Jubilee Concert at Buckingham Palace will have everyone from British legends, Sir Elton John and Dame Shirley Bassey through to Robbie Williams and, randomly, Australian Kylie.  Big screens are being put up on The Mall, St. James’ Park and Green Park if you want to mingle in the crowds or will be broadcast on BBC 2.

Tuesday 5^th June

The Queen of Hoxton is hosting a royal extravaganza in the form of their Jubilee Jamboree party.  Following footage of the Queen’s Royal flotilla, the perfectly groomed rooftop bar will be filled with the sounds of Majesty’s Pleasure DJs and Cash Cows live, and accompanied by the tastes and smells of burger master’s, Patty and Bun’s pop-up restaurant.  With everything from toffs and rah’s dress up, lawn croquet and even a rent-a-corgie service, it’s set to be a right royal knees up!

The weekend will culminate in a service at St. Paul's followed by a Royal procession, and the signature balcony wave from our favourite lady.  This might be the best chance to see her all weekend if you get the right spot, do some research and you might catch a glimpse of her fluffy, silvery barnet.

There you have it folks, my guide to the Jubilee’s best bits.  However we celebrate it though, there’s only two things that matter – we love a celebration and we love you Queeny!